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Balance
Humans are often confronted with a unique challenge. I call this challenge unique because humans are one of the few creatures in the world (if not the only creature) to have to confront it.
So often, the human mind and it's intellect, logic, ego, fragility, passion and sensitivity is called into question when it rises to the fore. More strange is the fact that the individual human mind's worst enemy is itself and the very person who possesses it. There is a battle that gets waged within many individuals between the spirit and the intellect. It is the person's own spirit that doubts the mind and vice versa.
I have seen many examples of this, both in myself and in others. It manifests itself in many ways, both obvious and not-so-obvious. It has been my observation that it is more common in those who pursue artistic endeavours, or aspire to. Perhaps it's the dichotomy of needing the intellect to execute one's art. Art is born in the spirit but needs a degree of intellect to execute it. Artists often speak of "channelling" or being "possessed" when making art, which can only be interpreted as the spiritual side dictating to the intellect. The trick, many artists have said, is to find the balance between these two worlds; the spirit and the intellect, the conscious and the unconscious, the right and wrong, the ying and yang, the earth and God...everyone needs a balance of both to function.
Unfortunately, in some there is little balance. I use art as an example of the frustration that this push/pull can cause. There are well documented cases of artists who teeter on the brink of madness, often abusing drugs, alcohol or (worse yet) other people as a result of this frustration. Worse yet, some artists suffer even harsher fates born out of this frustration. Some die accidentally, some by their own hand, and some are just seen to be crazy by the rest of society.
I'm a fan of music. So much so that I have read countless biographies and interviews with musicians as long as I can remember. Some musicians and songwriters are so tortured by a lack of balance, they suffer their entire lives. There is the intellect telling them that they must achieve success, while there is a spirit that lives within them that suffers as a result. A good example would be Jimi Hendrix.
Jimi was renowned as a musical technician with stunning facility. It was his intellect that helped him learn the intricacies of his instrument. It was his intellect and ego that forced him to play with his teeth and set his guitar ablaze at the famed Monterey Pop Festival in 1967 during his American debut. Jimi knew that in order to get his message out he had to catch the attention of the masses. Once he did that, his ego was fed and craved more attention. However, in the last few years of his life, Jimi often spoke of his regrets that his performances were so strongly identified with the showman that commanded the stage only a few years earlier. His spirit drove him to create and his ego forced him to play "Foxy Lady" thousands of times, no matter how much he hated to.
Jimi, I believe, never fully realized the spiritual portion of his dream because he was being driven by his ego, along with a host of sycophants on his payroll, to continue on his fiscally successful path.
In the early days of The Who, the band was renowned for physically electrifying performances that climaxed with the destruction of their equipment. While Pete Townsend contended that this was an art form and a means of expression through "destructive art", as he called it, it became apparent years later that it was a ego-driven gimmick to attract attention and get noticed. This was proven when Pete abandoned his destructive ways later in favour of musical adventures. In the band's documentary film, "The Kids Are Alright", Townsend can be seen in a band meeting plainly expressing his distain for the "circus act" the band had become. He was clearly struggling with the fight between ego and spirit.
I say all of this not to point to purely musical examples of this phenomenon, but to pontificate about the properties of this dichotomy in everyday life. Many people, from Jimi Hendrix to Pete Townsend to John Lennon to Kurt Cobain to Van Gogh to the guy at the corner store to you and me have felt the burden of this struggle. Sometimes, the mere task of waking up and performing one's daily tasks feels like a spiritually stifling experience. Some find great difficulty in finding the balance. In fact, it is very easy to feel alone in this plight and let one's own frustration and pain overcome them in these times.
Balance. It's an often misunderstood word. However, it is balance that makes life liveable. It is the struggle to find balance that makes it seem intolerable.